i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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