i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
