i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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