Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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