we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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