And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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