Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
