I'm going to jail i love you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
