I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
