I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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