fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
