im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize