i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
