In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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