Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
