whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
