Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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