you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize