ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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