i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
