Ambien. No doubt about it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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