Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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