OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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