When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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