Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
