I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize