You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
