If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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