her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
