Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
