What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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