I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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