Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
