Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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