the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Operation Purity has been aborted
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
