My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
