But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
