We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
