Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
