It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize