Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is it because I queefed?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize