i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize