She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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