I'm going to rape someone's good day.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize