A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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