guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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