I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
