you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
