Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
