my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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