I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
