Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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