haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
