After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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