this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
