The beer is more important than you right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
