i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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