Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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