He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
