thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
