Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
