I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
