I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize