standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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