please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
