We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
