When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You are the jesus of drinking
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
