he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
