my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize