All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
