Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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