yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
