Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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