Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
