I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
